The Day After Christmas

Well, I tried writing a witty holiday poem along the lines of "The Night Before Christmas" or whatever it's called, but failed miserably. So I guess I'll have to use my usual wry, dry, morose and sardonic style of writing. Who am I kidding? It's also the way I speak. So let's get this year over with and on with the new. So with what might be the last post of the year, let's get on with it.

Yesterday was Christmas day, just in case anyone wasn't paying attention, and what was one of our many presents? How about the terrorist trying to blow up the plane from Amsterdam to Detroit? It would seem that this scumbag didn't get the message that this was supposed to be the day of peace on earth and good will towards men. With that being said, why didn't the passengers and crew just throw this guy out of plane? Sounds a lot better to me than keeping him in jail for the next 20 years or so. Or maybe we're just trying to make sure that Scott Fenstermaker gets a new client.

Speaking of good ol' Scott, he still hasn't answered my e-mail. I'm really not too surprised. After all I did call him a pinhead. Most certainly an overly kind remark coming from me. But now it seems that he has proven me correct. He did say that he welcomed all questions and that he would answer them. So now that he hasn't he has been elevated to pinhead first class status. I don't care much for folks that don't do what they say they will.

Did the Senate vote on their version of the health care reform bill on X-Mas eve? I don't know, I wasn't paying attention. I was too busy with my family. As you might imagine I was in the kitchen cooking for the 19 people we had for dinner. Then we had the organized chaos of the opening of the presents for the eight kids that were here. What a night! So if anyone knows what the government may have given us, please let me know.

If our learned leaders in Washington did continue down this path to a newer version of communism then I had better get into shape fast. Right now I consider myself to be in shape, round is a shape. But I mean I need to get into good shape. That means losing about 15-20 pounds or at least 3-4 inches around my mid section. I hope that I have all the surgeries out of the way for a while so I don't have to count on the government for that.

The reason I seemed concerned all of a sudden about my weight is that on the night of the 23rd my wife's sister had a party at her house. Ten piece big band, catered chow, the whole nine yards. Being that I don't mind dressing up for a party I put on my best suit and a terrific tie. It has a picture of the top half of the Grinch's head and a caption above that reads, "Your a mean one Mr. Grinch." I love that tie. But I digress. As I attempted to button the jacket I noticed that the bottom half of my belly was sticking out. I'm used to the jacket being too small when I'm wearing a gun either on my hip or in a shoulder holster, but not when I'm unarmed. So it appears that the holiday season has been very good to me. And bad for my wardrobe.

In this time of economic hardship brought on by the greed of the banks and the rest of the plutocracy in Washington, I hope that you had an enjoyable holiday season as I did. The next year or three will undoubtedly bring us more trials and tribulations, but we as a people will pull through. Be ye liberal or conservative, we will old our nation together no matter what Comrade Obama and the rest of his ilk have in store for us.

So be brave, the next elections are only 11 months away. This new wave of conservancy will prevail and America will be back on track to take our place as the world's leader in all categories. Those that are disappointed in our system or just pissed at the fact that Obama isn't able to take this country as far left as they want, or that he wants, can go ahead and move to France or Norway or where ever the hell they want to go.

They don't deserve us anyway.